Crying, throwing tantrums, and being clingy are all natural reactions among children when they see a parent going away. It’s also natural for adults to feel guilty when they see their kids become upset and act negatively because of it.
Experienced parents and caretakers have developed a unique way of pacifying their little ones to help them manage such stressful feelings. But if you’re still trying to figure out how to do the same for kids, don’t fret. This article will discuss how to help kids deal with their parents going away because of work, separation, or incarceration.
Traveling Parents
Working parents leave their children more frequently, although most of them will only do so for about nine or so hours a day. However, some parents might be gone for long periods if the nature of their work requires them to travel long distances.
Such a setup can be difficult for younger children. It can cause them to lose sleep, throw a tantrum, and even struggle with daily routines. Having one or both of their parents go away for long periods might also lead kids to cope poorly with normal frustrations and isolate themselves from their friends.
One way to help kids deal with this problem is by explaining to them the exact reason for their parent’s absence. Doing so helps them better understand why their parents are going away and where they will be once they leave.
Parents can also have their children help them while packing their stuff. Doing so will (hopefully) distract their little ones from being upset. Having kids pick out an outfit or give the parents something to take with them can also help children feel more involved.
When the parents have gone, encouraging positive activities that nurture their connection is an intervention that kids can perform when they start missing their ‘rents. They can sketch family portraits or an activity they want to do when their parents come home.
Another way you can help kids deal while their parents are away is by creating a personal timeline chart. This chart will help them count off the days until their parents return.
When Parents Separate
Separating is never easy, even more so when there are children involved. Kids will find it difficult to understand why one parent needs to leave their home, leading to eventual upset once they fully understand the situation.
It’s important to respect this emotion and encourage them to share their feelings honestly — even if they say something that can hurt their parents. Doing so makes it easier to rationalize their emotions and respond appropriately.
The children might also blame themselves for the separation, so reassure them that it’s not their fault. Help them understand that the events leading up to the current situation have nothing to do with how they acted or behaved in the past.
Additionally, it will take the kids some time to adjust as they adapt to changes brought about by the new family setup. They might become anxious or stressed during this reconfiguration phase.
Establishing a consistent routine will help them settle faster. Additionally, make sure to keep up with children’s nutrition to maintain their health during this difficult time.
Both parents should ensure they are there for their kids throughout the transition and provide the support their little ones need. However, it’s also important to give the little ones some space to adjust at their own pace.
For Children with Incarcerated Parents
It’s not common when a parent goes to jail, so it will be more difficult to help kids make sense of this kind of situation. It becomes harder when they see their parents get arrested, tried, or sentenced.
Such a circumstance causes adverse effects on the little ones’ childhood experiences and may lead to trauma that impacts their health and well-being as adults. There is also a stigma around having incarcerated parents, so the children’s guardians must help them build their resilience and guide them in handling such a stressful incident.
Having a supportive adult figure is important to establish such resilience among children. This adult should be committed to helping the kids, providing advice whenever necessary, and guiding them in developing skills to handle and overcome the trauma of their parents going to prison.
Being honest with children is also the key to supporting them during this situation. They will ask questions that are difficult to answer, but adults should be open to answering them as truthfully as possible using the CARES approach:
- Creating a safe space for the children to express themselves freely.
- Acknowledging and affirming their concerns.
- Reassuring the kids that they can rely on the adult.
- Encourage them to play, be active, and hone their skills.
- Share truthful information that is appropriate for them.
Final Thoughts on a Parent Going Away
Dealing with children with stress will never be an easy task, especially if the parents being away is the cause of it. Hopefully, this guide can help you take better care of them during stressful and trying times.
