One of the main purposes of the family is to protect and care for each other. Sometimes, though, you might experience a traumatic event and it’s challenging to be there for one another when you collectively heal at once. Whether it’s a death in the family, an accident, or another very heartbreaking moment, there are ways you can come together to cope.
With the number of mass shootings and violence that takes place in the US every year, more and more families are in need of help dealing with trauma.
Traumatic events are defined as any confrontations with overwhelming or disturbing events. This can include many different types of events, such as war, natural disasters, sudden loss of a loved one, and forms of prolonged and one-time abuse. Going through a traumatic event can cause individuals to develop both long-term and short-term serious mental health problems, such as:
- Unsettling re-experiences (or flashbacks to the event)
- Depression
- Anxiety
- Emotional dysregulation (such as intense and sudden anger, panic, sadness, shame, etc)
- Trouble sleeping and recurrent nightmares
- Substance use disorders
Trauma can also cause a slew of physical health issues that can be gastrointestinal, cardiovascular, neurological musculoskeletal, respiratory, urological, and more.
As isolating as trauma can feel, you are not alone. According to studies, unfortunately, 70.4% of people will experience some form of trauma. After the triggering event, you may experience:
- Difficult feelings of negativity, anger, stress, sadness, etc
- Memory loss
- Changes in how you behave
Whatever you and your family are going through, there are resources and things you can do to cope with trauma as a family. Here are some immediate actions and some things you should consider doing in the near future to help yourself and your loved ones begin to cope.
Acknowledge that it will take some time to heal
One of the worst things you can do when navigating trauma is to ignore its impact. You may feel like you want everyone to forget about it and move on with your normal lives, but it’s not that simple. Whether you face the reality of how you and your loved ones are feeling or not, you will feel the lingering effects of trauma – it can take even longer to cope with it if you don’t address it.
Keep the conversation open
Make sure that everyone in your family knows it’s okay to be feeling traumatized, even if they don’t want to talk. It’s important for anyone who’s been through something that has emotionally affected them to know they have an outlet to help them work through it. That being said, if one is not ready to discuss the events or how they are feeling, you should respect that and just give them what they need to heal. You can, however, leave them an encouraging note just to remind them you’re there if they need someone.
Keep your routines
When navigating day-to-day, it’s going to feel easy to slip into bad habits. It’s important to keep your daily routines as normal as possible while still giving yourselves grace. Depending on what you’re going through, your kids may not be ready to return to school or go back to soccer practice, but their meal times and bedtime routines can be more easily controlled. That goes for the caretakers of the family too – chances are if you’re reading this, you are the one who likes to take care of everyone else. Make sure to make time for yourself to process and relax as well.
Make sure everyone is staying hydrated
This might sound out of place, but you would be surprised how many people get dehydrated after a traumatic event. It’s important that everyone is eating, but drinking plenty of water is crucial. Eating might be a little more difficult after a shock-inducing event.
Look into family therapy
Sometimes you need an extra voice to help you through something. If your family doesn’t seem to be healing on their own or you notice any trauma symptoms getting worse, it might be time to consider talking to a therapist. You can do this in a lot of ways – group therapy as a family is helpful to discuss it and understand how it is affecting everyone else. Individual therapy is good for everyone as well to process their thoughts on their own time.
Find a support group
Whether it’s an organized group of people who have been through similar experiences or just a close group of loved ones, having people around you to support your family is extremely helpful in dealing with trauma. Seek out help from friends or local organizations to talk through it outside of your family, or just to have some extra support.
Find physical ways of coping
Whether your family decides to take up yoga, swimming, running, or hiking, anything that gets you moving is helpful in the healing process. Yoga in particular has been known to help many people who have dealt with trauma.
Don’t dwell on the event for too long
Even if it takes a while to figure out a path forward, it’s important to make sure your days are filled with some distractions. Take everyone out for dinner to get out of the house, or take a quick weekend trip to your favorite family getaway. If no one is feeling up for a big adventure, even just eating together or having a family movie night – where the focus is on just being there for each other – can be very helpful in getting everyone through a tough time.
If the symptoms are prolonged for anyone, seek medical advice
Sometimes, no matter what you do, there needs to be more serious intervention for trauma victims. That might mean going to therapy or it could mean seeking advice from your healthcare provider about other medical intervention possibilities. If anything erupts abruptly and you or your family in danger, seek help right away.
Conclusion
Getting through a traumatic event is going to take time and patience for everyone to heal. There is no “one size fits all” when it comes to treatment methods. You have to do what you think is best for your family.
